"...Until You Die.": The Narcissist's Promise









A woman knew a newborn, with eyes of melting chocolate and pink cherubic cheeks,

A woman felt her baby boy take hold of her heart, learning how deeply she could love.


A woman knew a little boy, all dimples, tight hugs and laughter.

A woman felt the pain as her son’s father turned away to pursue interests elsewhere.


A woman knew a boy, wise beyond his years, who began to see and speak the truth.

A woman felt the love whispered by her son sharing his thoughts that it was only his mom he knew he could depend upon.


A woman knew a young man, but now, only from photographs and memories.

A woman felt the severed bonds committed by the man she left, bent on revenge despite the damage inflicted on the child they created.


A woman knew a teenaged boy, nostalgic for his mother’s love, yet tainted by his father’s false words and deeds.

A woman felt the joy of reunion, mingling with the pain of the years lost through no fault of her own.


A woman knew her son, once sweet and kind and giving and embracing life’s lessons.

A woman felt the despair on the day her son revealed he had become his father.


A woman knew a father-to-be, and hoped his son would be like the little boy she once knew. 

A woman felt an ache in her heart as she prayed the baby would not follow in his father’s footsteps.


A woman knew of a young father, molded from his own father’s anger, who would someday lose his son and feel the agony of unfounded loss.

A woman felt the anguish of losing a son who remained very much alive, just without her.





My children have fallen into the swift running waters that pull at them, flooding each crevice,
denying them breath, invading their spaces
My children are drowning; their screams muffled as the coldness bubbles over them,
penetrating their throats and covers their faces.

They have been drowning for years, suffocating in the lies of their father,
whose capacity for truths were slim,
Arrogantly announcing, he was saving them from their loving mother, who simply no longer loved him.
Three children could break free of the raging currents and safely swim to shore,
But the lies of their father were like weights upon their ankles, pulling them down to be seen no more,
The youngest and the smallest child is terrified and she cries out in utter fear,
Until she sees the eyes of her mother she’s loved and trusted for years.
Devoted to her children, all four bring her joy,
She's haunted by her ex of three, swearing vengeance and the promise to destroy.
The tiny girl is fragile, yet her mind is the strongest, her faith is unwavering. 
As four children gasp for breath clearly knowing only one is worth saving
The water is rushing over their faces with each cresting wave of white
Being dragged to the depths of the dark waters is their sorry plight
I stand on the river bank, watching the deadly rapids bound to take those I love more than life,
The babies I nursed, cherished, vowing eternal happiness and peaceful days, free of strife.
Their screams rip through my heart as my hands firmly grip a buoy, the chance to save just one.
There is no time, a decision must be made or they will all die; two daughters and two sons.

As they thrash in the water of lies, my choice is easy, as I throw the buoy in the air,
To the one I know that can be saved, still untouched by revenge, although it may not seem fair

I pull my youngest to shore, holding her close, her chill warmed by my body heat,
Turning from the cries of my oldest, struggling in the rushing waters of deceit
Knowing they have the strength to save themselves, I must leave and walk away,
For their salvation cannot come from me, it’s their battle to face one day.
Can they release the burden of deception attached by the man who cared only for himself,
unmoved by the results of his deeds?
He’s blinded to his children drowning, avoided if he had considered them
instead of his own selfish needs.
Too frightened to see behind the façade of his reflection in a quiet pool
He’s unable to face the real world, and the ones who deem him as a fool.
An obtuse declaration his acts were in the best interest of his two sons and one daughter
So how could he gaze upon the face of the man who created such cruel and senseless slaughter?
But, the tumultuous rivers do not allow a clear reflection, just one that is dark & distorted,
As the rapids consume his children, the river lies calm and flat, their screams silenced and aborted
One last opportunity to see himself clearly and drag his children from the black
But the father turns away, unwilling to look into the malevolence mirrored back.  
If he can see his true self, he might save them; it’s probably his final chance,
But he tells himself he’s faultless, and he walks away, without a backward glance.